07 March 2007

What in the Hell Is Wrong With New Jersey?

Yes, a rather broad question for which the answer probably is "a lot". But, after a rather hellish morning commute due to only a couple inches of snow, I'm left with a burning question: Does the State of New Jersey own either a snow plow or salt truck? And if the answer is yes, do they ever use them? I knew after the forecast last night that it was supposed to snow lightly in the wee hours but we wouldn't get much. The main brunt of the snow would start just in time for the morning commute and end some time in the afternoon. Often when the weather is bad, I'll work from home. But we were only supposed to get a couple of inches in total. I figured the roads couldn't be that bad.

As usual, my subdivision was snow covered. But, it was only an inch or two and driving through it to the main roads wasn't a big deal. Once I hit the Pennsylvania turnpike, it was smooth sailing at a normal 65 mph. The PA Turnpike people are smart. Before it starts snowing, they hit the roads with a brine solution to help keep the roads clear once it snows to prevent it from sticking (at least my tolls go towards something useful). Route 1 was even in pretty good shape. I-95 in PA was backed up almost to the entrance ramp from Route 1. Although traffic was moving at a glacial speed, the roads were mainly in good shape.

It was only as I crossed the New Jersey state line after the Scutter Falls bridge that the first signs of trouble appeared. Within a mile, it became clear that nary a snow plow had skimmed the pavement, much less was a salt truck anywhere near and forget brine. I don't think brine is in NJDOT's lexicon. The major artery running running up and down the eastern seaboard was down to tire tracks between slush and snow covered pavement. Luckily, traffic was fairly light. New Jerseyites clearly get that their roads crews are non-existent and useless and wisely don't venture out unless it's absolutely necessary.

I had a couple of heart pounding moments as my car suddenly started fishtailing gently as I passed Exit number 4. Luckily my 4 years of driving experience in America's version of hell frozen over (aka Vermont) kicked in. I removed my foot from the accelerator, let gravity slow me down and stopped sliding. Then, less than a mile from my exit, I had to change lanes for my Route 1 exit. That was when the real fun started.

I held my breath as I plowed through the piled up slush and snow between the lanes to get into the line of backed up exit traffic. Suddenly the car in front of me also changed lanes and slammed on their breaks. This of course forced me to hit mine and suddenly I was sliding directly towards their rear end. Even though I had given them more distance than I normally would have, I was rapidly running out of pavement. I could feel my antilock breaks kicking in to no avail as I closed the distance between me and the car in front of me. I had no choice but to aim for the shoulder and hope to miss them.

My guardian angel was watching out for me. As I steered out of the slush and onto the fluffy shoulder snow, suddenly I had traction and cleared the idiot in front of me by a good three inches off to his right hand side. He had started moving again, completely oblivious to the fact that I had almost plowed into his back bumper due to his failure to signal and hit the breaks move. I was able to angle myself back into the exit lane with no harm done except an over abundance of adrenaline running through my system.

Cursing idiot drivers and NJDOT's lack of winter preparedness, I finally made it safely into the office. Luckily the roads were in better condition for the drive home.

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